by The king compares his own methods to a modern social media pile on
On Being Cancelled, A Modern Word For An Ancient Practice
Good people, I have this week been informed that when a modern subject displeases the general public, they are said to be cancelled, meaning their reputation is swiftly and publicly destroyed by many voices at once, though I note with some satisfaction that the offender’s actual head remains firmly attached throughout the ordeal, a mercy I extended to considerably fewer of mine own critics.
Verily, I did invent cancellation long before this modern age gave it a name, though mine own version generally concluded with a scaffold rather than a strongly worded post. Thomas More, a man I once considered a friend, discovered mine own personal cancellation policy rather more permanently than any modern celebrity has yet managed.
On The Matter Of The Public Apology Video
I am told a cancelled subject may, if they wish, film themselves reading a prepared statement of contrition, seated before a plain background, expressing regret and a commitment to growth. I confess I never once required an apology video from anyone I cancelled, chiefly because by the time cancellation had occurred, filming equipment would have been somewhat superfluous to their situation.
On The Possibility Of A Comeback
This modern cancellation, I am further informed, is rarely permanent, and many subjects do eventually return to public life after a period of quiet reflection, sometimes as little as eighteen months. I regret to inform this audience that none of mine own cancelled subjects managed a comeback of any kind, eighteen months or otherwise, on account of the specific and irreversible nature of the cancellation employed.
The King’s Verdict On Modern Cancellation
I do hereby declare modern cancellation a considerably more humane institution than mine own, chiefly because it permits the cancelled party to keep both their head and, eventually, their career, two mercies I extended rather more sparingly during mine own reign. Had social media existed in mine day, I daresay half the Tower’s former occupants should simply have been made to post an apology video and taken up gardening instead.
I am further told that a cancelled subject’s greatest ally is often simply the passage of time, for the public’s attention doth move swiftly onward to some fresher outrage within a matter of days. I confess mine own court operated on a rather similar principle, save that the fresher outrage generally involved an entirely different wife, and the previous one’s fate remained considerably more permanent than a mere fading of public interest.
Full and glorious source of this tale, as ever, upon The London Prat: https://prat.uk/celebrity-cancel-culture-comeback-trends/
