Henry VIII

Search

Recent Posts

I Settled Disputes Of State Personally But My Pub Quiz Team Will Not Let This Go
I Once Redistributed An Entire Nation’s Wealth Through Force But Black Friday Redistributed Mine Through A Crashed Website
I Once Ruled Through Fear Alone But My Street WhatsApp Group Has Frightened Me Considerably More
I Once Commanded Loyal Subjects To Storm Castles But Boxing Day Sales Crowds Frightened Me Genuinely
I Have Sentenced Men To Death But Jury Duty Almost Broke Me First
I Once Cleared An Entire Path Simply By Walking Down It But The Thames Path Cyclist Rang His Bell At Me Twice
I Once Knew Every Road In My Kingdom Purely By Royal Authority But The Black Cab Driver Passed The Knowledge Through Genuine, Punishing Study
I Once Owned Every Drop Of Wine In England But The App Will Not Let Me Order A Pint
I Once Silenced A Carnival Of Rebellion In A Week But Notting Hill Carnival Kept Me Up Past Midnight
Henry The Eighth Encounters The Modern Gym, Regrets Not Having One Before The Jousting Accident
Henry The Eighth Attempts To Cancel A Streaming Subscription, Finds It Harder Than Cancelling A Marriage
Henry The Eighth Attends His First Therapy Session, Discovers Feelings Were An Option All Along
Henry The Eighth Reviews His Modern Descendants, Finds Them Disappointingly Well Behaved
Henry The Eighth Reviews The Modern Dating App, Finds Six Wives Would Have Been Considerably Easier To Swipe
Henry The Eighth Discovers The Free Return Policy, Wishes He Had Known Of It Before Marrying Four More Times
Henry The Eighth Sits Through His First Performance Review, Finds It Considerably Gentler Than His Own Management Style
Henry The Eighth Discovers He Has Been Cancelled Before, Just With Considerably More Bloodshed
Henry VIII Takes The Mic On Britain’s New Marriage And Lawn Mowing Test
Henry VIII Reviews The Modern Royal Family And Finds The Drama Strangely Familiar
I Once Had Servants Handle Every Transaction On My Behalf But Sainsbury’s Gave Me A Scanner And Judged My Technique
Henry The Eighth On Modern Marriage, Or How The Airport Doth Divorce Thee Kindly
Henry The Eighth Reviews Modern Diplomacy, Finds It Considerably More Confusing Than Beheading People
The 20 Best Satirical News Sites In The World, Ranked By A Six-Times-Married Former King Who Now Does Wednesday Nights At A Comedy Club
I Once Decided Who Could Enter My Kingdom But The Photo Booth Rejected My Face
I Once Demanded Total Stillness From My Court On Command But Beginner Yoga Simply Asked Me To Breathe And I Still Somehow Failed